Why I Need A New Job!
by Crimson Angel Winges
Summary: This is one more fic full of random madness! But it’s not another parody! So R&R hope you like thanks for R&R the other two Red Witch!


**My disclaimer saying that I own nothing had slight run in with Wild Bill and is still being glued back to gather. I bring to you more madness! R&R people I have so few reviews! **

**Why I Need A New Job!**

"Ok how in the Hell did they get a tank on the roof of the **miss hall** and why is it pink with green poke dots." General Hawk of G.I. Joe asked as he set in his office digging throw his desk.

"General Hawke I have no idea. By the ways theirs also a blue and purple striped HAVOC on the roof of the motor pool too." Duke said from his seat on the others side of the desk. He thin looked to his left at Flint who was covered from head to toe with glitter and organ shaving cream. "Ok Flint I have to ask what the hell happened to you?"

Flint looked up and stopped trying to pick the glitter and said simply. "I tried to brake up a fight between Wet Suit and Leatherneck." He thin went back to trying to pick off the glitter.

"Ye but how did…" Duke began to ask but Flint cut him off.

"Duke don't ask please I'm trying to repress the whole amnestying" Flint shook his head and shuddered.

Both men looked back at Hawk who was still digging in his desk. "Ok were the Hell is my Advil and Scotch?"

Thin a loud crash was heard in the hall and Alpine burst in to the room. "General Hawk Sir we have a problem!"

"Oh what is it now?" Hawk demanded **still **digging in his desk.

"Rock N' Roll and Cross Country were racing office chairs down the hall and thin they crashed into Beachhead and Airtight." He had to speak up to be herded of the noise in the hall.

"Well it gets wears…" Crash! Alpine explanation was interrupted by a louad crash and some muffled yells from the hallway. "Like I was trying to say Airtight was caring some kind of experimental glue and now all four of them are suck together." More yelling and several yelps of pain were herded from the hall.

Hawk sided and rubbed his for head between his eyes. "Duke go help Alpine brake up that damn fight and try to get those four separated before they kill each other. Flint you go clean yourself up before your skin actually terns organ." He went back to his search in a different draw.

"Yes Sir. But first Flint what happened to you?" Alpine tried to hide the grin on his face.

"Alpine shut up and don't ask or ya'll have **PT for the next year.**" Flint threatened with a growl that made Alpine stat to slowly back out of the room.

As Duke got up to follow him out to the war zone that was the hallway the phone rang. "Hello General Hawk here. What is it Roadblock? **WHAT** why the hell is the laundry room get flooded with bobbles?! What do you mean and **feathers and toilet paper!?!**" Hawk yelled in to the phone.

"Ye know I thank this paint is starting to dry so I should probably go get cleaned up…ah ah." Flint laughed nervously as he walked to the door.

"You do that Flint and me and Alpine will take ceria of that little mess in the hall." As Duke began to slowly back out of the room several more crashes and screams were herd.

Once his office was empty Hawk slammed the phone down and began to bang his head on his desk giving up his search for scotch and Advil. "I'm starting to see why Beachhead is always talking to that damned Teddy Bear."

**CRASH...MASH...BANG!!! **

"No Beachhead stop trying to strangle Cross Country!!"

"Days like this remained me why I need I new job"

_Ohhhhhh...I was there, to match my intellect, on national TV, Against a plumber, and an architect, both with a Ph.D. I was tense, I was nervous, I guess it just wasn't my night. Art Fleming gave the answers, Oh, but I couldn't get the questions right-ight-ight I lost on Jeopardy, Baby,)_

Breaker, Slipstream and Cutter walk out holding some paper.

**Slipstream: **Do we have to do this?

**CrimsonAngelWinges:** Yes now get started or I'll come up with a parody that makes **The 12 Pains of New Years Eve** look nice and peaceful. Got it?

**All three:** (Groaning) Yes.

**Breaker: **Welcome everyone to the first segment of CrimsonAngelWinges's useless facts.

**Cutter: **Today's useless facts are dumb laws in Mississippi. Hay how come Mississippi's first why not alphabetical order?

**CrimsonAngelWinges:** Because I live in there and I'm the author and what I say goes.

**Slipstream: **Works for me so it's illegal, if one is a parent to two illegitimate children, that person will go to jail for at least one month.

**Cutter: **It is illegal to teach others what polygamy is.

**Breaker: **A man may not seduce a woman by lying, and claiming he will marry her. I kind of like this one.

**Cutter: **Ye that is a good one not like this next one.One may be fined up to $100 for using "profane language" in public places. Someone better worn the Navy.

**Breaker: ** I thank we'd have to tell the howl Military about that one. Private Citizens may personally arrest any person that disturbs a church service.

**Slipstream: **Adultery or Fornication (living together while not married or having sex with someone that is not your spouse) results in a fine of $500 and/or 6 months in prison. Hay who wants to tell Falcon and Jinx there braking the law?

**Breaker: **I'm not going to but if you want I'll tape it. Vagrancy is punishable by either 30 days in prison or a $250 fine. Ok if there a vagrant thin how are they supposed to pay the fine?

**Cutter:** Who nose? Unnatural intercourse, if both parties voluntarily participate, results in a maximum sentence of 10 years and $10,000. Ok what the hell is natural intercourse?

**CrimsonAngelWinges: **Missionary only. But the thing I'd like to know is how they know what positions you're doing it in? **   
**

**Slipstream: **I don't what to know the answer to that. City Laws in Mississippi in Ridgeland Exterior burglar bars which are viewable from the street are not allowed. Were the hell did that one come from?

**Breaker: **In Tylertown it is unlawful to shave in the center of Main Street. Ok are we talking just the face or every thing?

**Cutter: **Who knows? Well that's all for now but watch out she has more!

**CrimsonAngelWinges: **All fifty states at lest eleven other countries some dumb facts and product warnings! (Whining herd from behind her) oh stop whining you big babies some on ells is reading them next time. Till thin **LATTER DAYZ! **


End file.
